Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Wife Affair Joke

Wife's Affair

A man returns home a day early from a business trip.
It's after midnight.
While en route home, he asks the cabby if he would be a witness.
The man suspects his wife is having an affair, and he wants to catch her in
the act.
For $100, the cabby agrees.
Quietly arriving home, the husband and cabby tip toe into the bedroom.
The husband switches on the lights, yanks the blanket back, and there is his
wife in bed with another man!
The husband puts a gun to the naked man's head.
The wife shouts, 'Don't do it! I lied when I told you I inherited money,
HE paid for the Porsche I gave you.
HE paid for our new cabin cruiser.
HE paid for your season Redskin tickets.
HE paid for our house at the lake.
HE paid for your Hawaiian golf vacation.
HE paid for our country club membership,
and HE even pays the monthly dues!'
Shaking his head from side-to-side, the husband lowers the gun.
He looks over at the cabby and says, 'What would you do?
The cabby replies, 'I'd cover him with that blanket before he catches cold.'

For hundreds more funny image jokes, check out my funny stuff for facebook blog (even if you don't have a facebook, there is still a lot of humor on that site) A day without laughter is a day wasted.
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Or just go back to the home page of this blog and scroll through
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Funny Joke of the Day

A few years after I was born, my Dad met a stranger who was new to our small town.

From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with this enchanting newcomer and soon invited

him to live with our family. The stranger was quickly accepted and was around from then on.

As I grew up, I never questioned his place in my family. In my young mind, he had a

special niche. My parents were complementary instructors: Mom taught me good from evil,

and Dad taught me to obey. But the stranger... he was our storyteller. He would keep us spellbound for hours on end with adventures, mysteries and comedies.

If I wanted to know anything about politics, history or science, he always knew the answers about the past, understood the present and even seemed able to predict the future!

He took my family to the first major league ball game. He made me laugh, and he made me

cry. The stranger never stopped talking, but Dad didn't seem to mind.

Sometimes, Mom would get up quietly while the rest of us were shushing each other to

listen to what he had to say, and she would go to the kitchen for peace and quiet.
(I wonder now if she ever prayed for the stranger to leave.)

Dad ruled our household with certain moral convictions, but the stranger never felt

obligated to honor them. Profanity, for example, was not allowed in our home - not from us,

our friends or any visitors. Our long time visitor, however, got away with four-letter

words that burned my ears and made my dad squirm and my mother blush.

My Dad didn't permit the liberal use of alcohol but the stranger encouraged us to try it

on a regular basis. He made cigarettes look cool, cigars manly, and pipes distinguished.

He talked freely (much too freely!) about sex. His comments were sometimes blatant,

sometimes suggestive, and generally embarrassing.

I now know that my early concepts about relationships were influenced strongly by

the stranger. Time after time, he opposed the values of my parents, yet he was seldom

rebuked... And NEVER asked to leave.

More than fifty years have passed since the stranger moved in with our family.

He has blended right in and is not nearly as fascinating as he was at first. Still, if you

could walk into my parents' den today, you would still find him sitting over in his corner,

waiting for someone to listen to him talk and watch him draw his pictures.

His name ....

We just call him 'TV.'

(Note: This should be required reading for every household!)
He has a wife now....we call her 'Computer.'
Their first child is "Cell Phone".
Second child "I Pod "

For more funny jokes, check out the main page of the blog, Here is the link (a day without laughter is a day wasted)

or check out my funny facebook status update page for hundreds of hilarious image jokes
Here is the link to that one

Monday, March 19, 2012

Some funny jokes for a Monday

Just a few funny jokes for the evening. Enjoy

For more funny jokes, check out the main page of this blog
Here is the link

or for hundreds of funny jokes and facebook status updates, check out

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

funny joke of the day

Four Worms in Church
(Four worms and a lesson to be learned !!!)

A Minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.

Four worms were placed into four separate jars.

The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.

The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.

The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.

The fourth worm was put into a container of good, clean soil.

At the conclusion of the sermon, the minister reported the following results:

The first worm in alcohol ... Dead.

The second worm in cigarette smoke ... Dead.

The third worm in chocolate syrup ... Dead.

The fourth worm in good, clean soil ... Alive .

So the Minister asked the congregation, "What did you learn from this demonstration?"

Maxine was sitting in the back and quickly raised her hand and said,

"As long as you drink, smoke, and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!"

That pretty much ended the service !!

Monday, March 12, 2012

Funny Joke of the Day

I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.

I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family and work.

I like to go to Conclusions...you have to jump, and I'm into physical activity these days.

I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.

I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.

Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.

One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!

I may have been in Continent, and I don't remember what country I was in. It's an age thing.


Today is one of the many National Mental Health Days throughout the year. You can do your bit by remembering to send an e-mail to at least one unstable person. My job is done!

Life is too short for negative drama and petty things. So laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly!

>From one unstable person to another... I hope everyone is happy in your head - we're all doing pretty good in mine!

Sunday, March 11, 2012

Here are some funny jokes for your Sunday evening

Here are some funnies for your Sunday Enjoy

Hope you enjoyed. A day without laughter is a day wasted. Visit the main page of the blog for more funny jokes Here is the link

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Funny Jokes of the Day

A day without laughter is a day wasted.

Here are some funnies for the day. Enjoy

If you enjoyed these, you may also enjoy my funny stuff for facebook blog
Here is the link to that one


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